books I've read

Anne Hawn's books

Who Moved My Cheese?
If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans
Scientific Secrets for Self-Control
Just One Damned Thing After Another
The Vanishing
Exercises in Knitting
The Good Dream
The Very Best of Edgar Allan Poe
The Chosen
BT-Kids' Knits
Talking God
The Professor
The Christmas Files
The Finisher
Home Decor for 18-Inch Dolls: Create 10 Room Settings with Furniture and 15 Outfits with Accessories
Dracula and Other Stories
A New Song
All Quiet on the Western Front
File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents

Anne Hawn Smith's favorite books »

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Sunday, November 07, 2010

Taken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family

Taken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the FamilyTaken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family by Stephen Baskerville

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book was a real eye opener. I had the idea that it was the men who ran off with "Tiffany" and left the women and children behind. Both this book and my experience is that there are so many more women who are leaving with the kids and the husband is left behind, often forced to leave his home, get an expensive lawyer and fight to see his kids.

This book also presented the idea that "No Fault Divorce" is the only contract where one person can break the contract and force the other person to pay. The left behind spouse has to get a lawyer, divide his or her income, be faced with hardly seeing his/her own children and often forced out of the house he/she has paid for. There is something seriously wrong here.

So often, the person who leaves has an unrealistic idea of what the future is going to hold. They see themselves as getting on in a new life and building a life with someone eles, leaving the old problems behind. Unfortunately, when that dream is crashed it is too late. They end up with vastly reduced circumstances, a more demmanding job to pay the additional expenses and children who are unhappy and very frequently having behavioral problems which take their lives in a totally different direction.

This book is important for all fathers involved in a divorce to read. It is not just "the other side", it is a cost that society pays as well as the involved parties. No one would sign a business contract in which one partner could leave and not pay a penalty; and especially leaving the other partner holding the bag and paying for the default while loosing most of the assets. Divorce is costing everyone and society has a right to limit the behavior of people whose actions are going to impact it. This book doesn't say that there should be no divorce, but that "no fault" does not serve society or the children of these marriages. On a personal note, I have found this to be a true representation in several cases I know of myself. It is no always the case, by any means, but it is happening much more than is known

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